Before Hitting the Road
The Genesis of the Homegoing
The genesis of WB's eventual homegoing may be traced to some time at the beginning of 2009, when two things became quite clear that alleviate the concern of his becoming too much a financial liability to his family: (1) he will qualify for Social Security upon reaching his 62nd birthday, even if residing in China; (2) the 2-year financial void before the birthday may be filled through fund raising. Those realizations led me to
•initiate a conversation on 1/16 with his legal guardian about the possibility of transferring him to China;
•visit his family in Yangzhong 1/22-1/23;
•make the initial inquiry of medical escort cost 1/27;
•visit his friends in Nanjing 2/1-2/2;
•inform his legal guardian 2/7 of conditions in China being conducive to his rehabilitation;
•learn of his doctor's concurrence 2/11 that moving to China would be the best for him;
•convey the need to raise $20K to likely team members 2/13;
•draft the first appeal letter & create Way-Yin.blogspot.com 2/14;
•sign up for a PayPal account 2/16;
•post the first appeal letter at Way-Yin.blogspot.com 2/17;
•meet with his Care Center team about his transfer 2/24;
•get a nod from the Chinese Social Service Center for it to establish an account on his behalf 2/25; and
•formally launch the fund drive along with Qinghuang Geng, Zhongyi Sun, Shaoying Guan, Zhangming Wang and Xiaoliang Wang as a team by having our appeal letter published in the 2/27 edition of China Tribune.
Qinghuang led our outreach effort particularly tirelessly. Many others took up the campaign as their own. Eventually, hundreds of individuals joined the fund drive and contributed financially, morally, and in numerous other ways.
On 3/18, as the fund drive was well on its way to meet our goal, I informed his legal guardian of my intention to accompany him to China around the end of the month; she in turn had his medical team set in motion the process of preparing for his departure.
The Long Good-Bye
WB's departure formally began about 1:00 p.m., Friday, 3/27, when his legal guardian handed me his personal documents and medical records and I signed a paper acknowledging the transfer. She bid farewell to WB, who appeared indifferent. I hugged her and thanked her for all she had done for him.
That same day, I packed all his personal belongings into his one and only suitcase. The following day, Zhongyi visited him, accompanying a long-time friend of theirs to say her farewell to him. During the visit, WB had his longest post-stroke walk Zhongyi had ever witnessed. Sunday afternoon, I accompanied a Qi Gong Master there, who gave WB an hour-long Qi Gong treatment during which he repeatedly murmured "feeling" or "there is a feeling" although failing to specify what he felt (he shook his head when asked whether it was pain or discomfort). Nurse Ellen gave me/WB several photos of the four nurses in charge of his care; she wrote in authentic Chinese handwriting "Forever Miss You" on the group photo. In the evening, Qinghuang paid him a visit.Also in the evening, I reviewed WB's medical records. They showed that he had to be sent to the Emergency Room more or less monthly until the end of 2008 but never since. That explains why "this would be the time if he would ever go to China," as stated by his medical team in the 2/24 meeting. It also vindicated earlier worries about his fitness for taking on long flights. The records further showed that he was not supposed to drink water or thin liquids. I called Northwest Airlines to see whether I could order nectar-thick liquids for him. But no one was manning the phone, probably because it was too late at night.
Final Preparations
On 3/30, the D Day, I called NWA again, and was told that it was too late to place any order. Worse, my earlier order for baby food (the right term should be "pureed diet") had been rejected because WB was, as the agent put it, "not a baby." I left home at 10:30 a.m. and headed straight to a grocery store where I bought 15 jars of baby food. I asked the pharmacist whether the store carried any nectar-thick drink. The answer was: no, but you could create such a drink by adding baby food to water.
I arrived at the Care Center at 11:00 a.m. I asked for nectar-thick liquids to bring along but was told, to my relief, that WB was no longer limited to such liquids. He was hidden in the bathroom getting groomed. I finalized the packing of his stuff and loaded it into my car. Upon return, I noticed that he was ready to go, but in a T shirt. I went back to my car to fetch a sweater, from his suitcase, for his nurse to put him into...... I signed his discharge paper and got a huge load of his medications, diapers, etc.--luckily I brought along a spare bag to put them in.
Zhongyi came in to give us the first ride on WB's long way home.
On his Way
From the Care Center to the Airport
A nurse wheeled WB down the elevator and to Zhongyi's van. He was maneuvered into the front passenger seat. Off we went, heading to Minneapolis/St. Paul Airport. Unbeknownst to us then, Qinghuang arrived to see WB off, only 2 or 3 minutes too late. He went to the airport as well, but again too late to see us. His silent best wishes there apparently helped, though, as our trip did go smoothly.
At the airport, Zhongyi parked his van at a curbside. I went into the building and talked to a guide at check-in lines for wheelchair assistance. She said O.K. and went off while talking into her walkie-talkie. Shortly thereafter, someone came with a wheelchair, who would stay with us until parking WB at the departing gate. Zhongyi helped WB into the wheelchair. I told him that WB and I would be fine and that he should go. So he bid bye to us.
WB and I went through everything smoothly, assisted by the wheelchair assistant, except for some extra time spent through the security check for the jars of baby food. We arrived at the departing gate with an hour or so to kill. In the duration, WB stood up suddenly from the wheelchair several times, charging for the gate, and I had to talk him into sitting back down every time. He settled a bit better once helped into a regular chair.
When it was the boarding time, I talked to an agent there for wheelchair assistance. Someone came and wheeled WB to the airplane door. From there, I walked him to his seat, with my arms around his waist, and an airline attendant carried my carry-ons.
Flight to Tokyo and to Shanghai
The business cabin was full with no vacant seat (this being the case throughout my round trip). I put WB in the window seat, whereas I took the aisle seat, to box him in. I talked to attendants about having the baby food served to him, formally on plates by them (and as if from them) the same way as to all other passengers. The request was made to protect his sense of self esteem. The scheme was carried out gracefully in due time.
During the first leg of the flight, departing at 3:15 p.m. and lasting about 12 hours, to Tokyo, WB was quite restless and curious, reminding me of kids in a stage known as "Terrible 2." He showed no interest in movies, watching perhaps no more than a few minutes before losing his attention. The same was true with brochures. He pushed every button within his reach, often several times in a row. He buckled and un-buckled his seat belt, and tightened and loosened it, back and forth, for numerous times. He opened and closed the windows near him often. He put an earplug into his mouth (and promptly spit it out upon my urge). He never closed his eyes......
He ate what I handed him, except for two occasions. Once, I ordered cranberry juice. When I was taking my first sip out of a glass, he grabbed the can and insisted on drinking it. It dawned on me that cranberry juice was part of his daily prescription in the Care Center. He was sure that he could and should drink it. Another occasion was when he said (throughout the trip, he spoke Chinese only): "Xiwei, drink tea." That was the first time since his stroke he addressed me by name. I asked him whether he wanted tea, and he nodded. He drank a lot of liquids. He ate well, cleaning up his plates. I served him some soft-textured food like fish and cake, on top of his dose of baby food. He took medicines well.
Before landing in Narita Airport, I requested for wheelchair assistance. In due time, I was informed of a wheelchair being ready. We deplaned in the reverse order of boarding.
It was a long way from the landing gate to the departing gate at Narita. In the transition, WB vomited. The wheelchair assistant reported the incidence to the folks in the departing gate. They took it seriously, questioning whether WB should continue on his trip. After my checking with a handful of them (all Japanese speaking broken English), an American flight attendant came to talk with me. I showed him WB's discharge paper from the Care Center, which listed nausea among discharge diagnoses. I explained WB's circumstances. He asked me whether, if I were not WB's travel companion, I would think that WB should go on the trip. I told him yes, because I observed no negative change in WB's condition since his leaving the Care Center...... He gave us a go.
WB was wheeled to the airplane door. From there, he walked O.K. first. Then suddenly, with a few more rows of seats to go, his legs refused to make forward movement. I had to nudge his legs forward one at a time, while announcing that we had come a long way from Minneapolis. A few flight attendants were there cheering him on. As in a very slow-motion movie, he gradually and finally made his way to his seat.
After that, WB looked drained. He hardly opened his eyes, napping, interrupted only at the meal time. The flight from Tokyo to Shanghai was relatively short, about 3.5 hours. Again, I asked for wheelchair assistance before landing and got it promptly after landing.
From Shanghai to Yangzhong
We landed at 9:40 p.m., 3/31, in Shanghai. We went through the Chinese custom quickly, taking the special lane for handicaps. Three nephews of WB's, LU Jian (WB's elder brother's son), HUANG Yong and Ming (his elder sister's sons), were waiting for us at the exit. They recognized WB instantly. One of them put a jacket over him. The wheelchair assistant wheeled him all the way to their van in a parking lot.
The last time WB was in China was November 2007, about 1.5 year ago. I asked LU Jian later about his first impression of WB this time. He said that WB reminded him of his late grandpa: very old and very bony.
In the van on the way to Yangzhong, WB stayed wide awake. He seemed absorbed in thinking. He talked a little, such as inquiring about someone who used to live in Shanghai.
As the van was passing a bridge into the City of Yangzhong, someone pronounced that he was in his hometown now. LU Jian said that WB's eyes became wet.
First Moments in Hometown
We arrived in the local hospital at 1:30 a.m., 4/1, local time. Much of WB's family was there greeting him, including his two sisters, the younger sister's daughter and son-in-law, his younger brother and so on. Everyone kept fairly quiet.
WB was ushered in a wheelchair to a patient room. His sisters started cleaning him up. In the process, WB gradually warmed up to the occasion. He asked: "Where is Mom?" He asked his younger sister: "Where is (the name of her late husband)?" She replied: "He passed away over 10 years ago. You no longer remember?"......
The sisters soaked and then dried his feet. Then, his younger sister held his feet, while his elder sister washed him with a wet towel from the face down. The latter gradually lost her control and started weeping as she noticed how skinny he was under the shirt. I patted on her shoulder and took her to the next room to calm her down. I told her that it should be a happy occasion as he was able to reunite finally with his loved ones after all the misfortunes...... In fact, even before the trip, I forewarned the family not to look too saddened when meeting him lest he would be burdened too much emotionally.
I left the room to retrieve my luggage from the van. Then I went to Dr. Zhu's office. As WB's new doctor, she volunteered for the night shift to be there at his arrival. I turned over to her all of his medical records, medicines, diapers, jars of baby food, etc. She sounded confident in taking over his case.
When I returned to WB's room, I was struck by all the family members around him (now tugged in bed)--an incredible contrast to what I used to see in the Care Center.
Everybody thanked me profusely. On the spur of the moment, I said to him: "Thank me." He replied without a moment's loss: "Thank you!"
Overall, the amount of talk he did after his reunion with his family was more than the combined total I had heard from him in the U.S. since his stroke. What a difference a family can make!
The next morning when I walked into his room, he was being surrounded again by a lot of family members. He looked very relaxed, and very much at home...... Seeing his great progress in talking and in mood made me feel that our effort was not in vain, but produced significant tangible results even at the first moments.
Dr. Zhu was already there, despite her night shift just hours ago. The head of the hospital paid WB a personal visit. The hospital was ready to give WB a thorough check-up that very day...... He was apparently in good hands.
Best wishes to you, WB!
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